I wake up each morning around 6:15am.
It never fails. whether it’s a Tuesday morning or a Sunday morning my body somehow thinks it’s time to start the day around that time. and sometimes I listen. Sometimes I get up and become a completely active and productive part of society at that ungodly hour of the day.. walking my dog, taking a shower, journaling, making my lunch for the day as I drink my first cup of coffee..
(yes, you read that right.. first cup. Because there’s usually a couple in my morning.. Coffee is life.)
But, then there are some days that my energy tries to start off with that “Girl it’s time to get to up” and in response, my body rolls over from the right side of the bed to the left with a simple understood “no”.
No.
Look.. I know people are always going to tell you that the way to progress in life is to say Yes to the things that you normally wouldn’t.
and that’s true.. but with a caveat.
Shonda Rhimes wrote a book a few years back called Year of Yes. I read it.. It was Dope.
In it, she describes how she noticed that she was constantly saying No to things and, by doing so, she felt as though she was missing out on so many beautiful pieces of life. As a way of remedying that, she made a promise to herself that for a year she would only say Yes. She’d spend time doing activities and going places she normally wouldn’t. She would essentially be stepping outside of her comfort zone to see and experience new things because she felt that it would elevate her in understanding and fufillment.
In the end, she found that some of those moments were truly inspiring and life changing, while others, she could of gone on through life without. But the point of it all was that she experienced them.
She lived.
When it was all said and done, she discovered that you have to find balance. You have to experiment with the extremes of Yes and No of Life and find a healthy way to recognize when to use each word.
When to say Yes to things that will not harm you or others but will instead take you to higher planes and spaces and create a beautifully unknown view of the world in which you live in.
As well as, when to say No to things that stifle and anchor you to mediocrity and keep you from your full potential or from being a blessing to yourself and others.
They say the key to being successful is saying Yes to something that will put you in a situation where you will have to work harder and be stronger. It will undoubtedly be more difficult to manage and/or make you uncomfortable but in the end pull out certain aspects of yourself that will make you better on the other side of it all.. and they’re right. The only way to have something you’ve never had is to do something you’ve never done.
That’s a fact. But it’s also true that there’s power in deny the world of taking away your peace. Even if that peace is just a little piece of you.
Balance.
There’s this phrase I use when I realize the atmosphere is taking just a little too much from me…
“What we’re not gonna do..”
No it’s not very eloquent or the King’s English, but it’s effective.
I don’t necessarily even need to say it to the person or thing that is causing the action towards me. It’s mostly said to myself as a reminder that I don’t have to endure this and that in the end there is nothing to gain from letting it occur, but my loss.
For example..
What we’re not gonna do is ignore the fact that you have put in hours of hard work on project at work and let a coworker get the credit for it.
What we’re not gonna do is let a bad day at the office keep you from being productive at building your brand after hours that evening.
What we’re not gonna do is be too tired after doing homework with the kids and cooking dinner for the family to sit down by yourself and drink a glass of wine with a good book or spend QT with your partner.
What we’re not gonna do is let a little rain keep you from getting to yoga class this evening.
What we’re not gonna do is let a few hundred calories keep you from having that amazing caramel chocolate brownie.. (yea, that probably wasn’t the best example.. but hey)
What we’re not gonna do is let the negative words that people have about your body discourage you from wearing whatever the Fuck you want to wear.
This phrase helps me to keep grounded and stay in the light. It reminds me that I have control in any situation and that I am the deciding factor when it comes to most things in my life. In a world where so many things seem to be out of my hands, it is comforting to know that I have a say in what directly affects my own energy and self.
I invite you to find something that helps you take this same control. And if this phrase works for you, take it!
I say Yes to a lot of things. It’s how I’ve been successful, felt fulfilled, and have had rewarding pieces of life introduced to me. But lately what I have been putting more effort into, is finding the place where it feels right to say No. I want so much and I want to Give so much, but I need to be able to find the courage to say and do that for my own self-preservation and Peace.
Because what we’re not gonna do is take my Light and ability to Shine.. ya dig.